I try to talk to you, but I don't know what to say
I am so afraid that you don't want me to say anything
So I don't
But inside of me there are so many words waiting to come out
And tell you how I feel - like how I miss you
And how I love you despite my shattered heart
And how I need you in my life
And especially how much I want you to accept me in yours
But those words may forever stay in my heart - locked inside
Sometimes I wonder if there are words locked inside your heart too...
But how will I ever know?

Do you know what love does? It's horrible. It makes you so vulnerable. It opens up your chest and exposes your heart, giving an opportunity for someone to come along and crush you from the inside out.

You build up all these defenses; you construct a magnificent suit of armor that is capable of blocking every shot taken at you. Then you meet this one amazing person - one who makes you feel all these things you've never felt with anyone else - who strays into your life.

You then give them a piece of you, a fragment of your very soul. They don't ask for it though, they tempt you into giving it away. They give you a kiss or say something like "I love you" , and now your life isn't your own anymore. It's now being shared between the two of you.

Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats you alive and leaves you crying alone in the darkness. Now a simple phrase like "maybe we should be just friends" transforms into a dagger, slowly working it's way towards your exposed heart.

It hurts on so many levels. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. It's an all out soul hurt. It's a physical hurt that leaves this empty pit inside of your stomach. It makes you want to throw up and cry. There's nothing that can be done to assure you that everything is alright, because everything is as far away from "right" as it possibly could be.

The only thing that would make any of it "right" would be to put that armor back on and be tough. Although through all the hell you suffer, you don't want to. You can't seem to stop all of this madness for some reason, and then it comes to you.

Despite all of the sorrow, all of the tears, all of the pain you partake with this person, you feel it's worth it to remain around and continue to love them. This makes you block out the pain and follow through with your primary ambition. You figure if someone can have such an impact on you, that they are extraordinarily special to you, so you continue to love them with everything left inside.

You will end up loving them forever, because they have had such an incredible influence on your life. It's crazy I know, holding onto these slowly fading strands of hope, but... true love does that.